Pedram's stream of consciousness

Friday, July 29, 2005


I logged on to write a post but didn't have anything to say. At first I thought "you always have something to say Pedram" but then kept coming up with nothing. Maybe it is the stress, maybe it is the fact that summer is coming to an end and I wish it would stay forever. I wonder if a glass feels sad when all the water has been poured out of it, as if it has no purpose. Do chairs feel happiness when someone is about to sit on them? Even though these things are objects created by people, I like to think that there is some essence of a soul in them. Humans, by our nature, are tuned to understand and relate to one another but we have to learn how to relate to the seasons, to sound, to objects that we would otherwise ignore in our daily activities. Even though humans feel emotions, I'm not sure we know how to deal with our emotions. For instance, people often handle stress or sadness by eating or sleeping to escape what they are feeling but rarely does that solve the problem. I think I deal with my stress through silence. Sometimes my silence is a result of deep reflection but other times it is my way of shutting down.

Closing my eyes, I see the galaxy
It envelopes, grasps, and takes hold of me

Where I start and where it ends was clearly once defined
No longer reality but just a dream of mine

Alone in thought, I try to find my way
Alone in self, with nothing more to say

Wednesday, July 27, 2005

Hustle & Flow

Last night we saw a great movie "Hustle & Flow", it had a great story and gripping acting. It's all about the life of a Memphis pimp who has a lot to say about his life and his struggle to contribute his verses.

The movie got me thinking about what kind of movie could be made about my life. I think it would make sense to show me as a gangsta programma trying to survive in this programming game. The gangsta programming life is full of danger from buggy code trying to crash on you, playa hating PMs trying to crack the whip on development cycles. sucka MC users trying to diss my UI.... Sometimes the world feels like it is crashing down around me but I keep trying to stay true to the game, writing my code like a true thug with no design docs, comments, and massively inlined functions.

Even when I spill coke on my keyboard I don't slow down one bit. I just pick myself up and say "Pedram, you have dealt with far tougher things than sticky keys!". I pour some water on that keyboard and continue kicking raw crump lines of code! I'm so hard that I have to wear a bullet-proof vest when I code. No amount of hating is going to keep my code down, I continue to open source my code with no hesitation!

If any Hollywood producers are reading this, please contact me and we can get this amazing story to the people.

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

Inner voice.....

Recently, Raheleh and I were joking around in the car and she said something that made me laugh. While I was laughing on the outside my inner voice said "ha ha we are having a good time". I usually don't pay much attention to my inner voice but for whatever reason I paid attention to it and decided to tell Rah what it said. Apparently this was the funniest thing she had heard in a long time because she started laughing uncontrollably.

Then my inner voice said "Don't let her mock you, assert your dominance", so I told her to stop laughing and respect me as the alpha male. She stopped the car, kicked me out and drove off.... I'm never listening to my inner voice again!

Monday, July 25, 2005

Picnic with Rah

Yesterday(Sunday) Raheleh and I started our day by waking up, watching a movie, and eating leftover pizza. We then packed up some wine, cheese, crackers, and fruit and headed off to a nice little park close to our home (I can't remember the name). When we got there we found a shady spot and put our blanket down. Within a few minutes we were drinking our wine and eating our food. Later that day we went swimming with Jasmine. This was the kind of day that I wished for every day while in Pittsburgh.


While on a trip to Colorado we overheard some kids (probably 12 years old) talking about God. One of my friends asked one of the kids an interesting question

F : Can God do anything?
K : Yes...
F: Can God create a rock that God can't lift?
K: (Just looked at us with a blank look on her face)

I think this is a pretty funny question because it assumes that God has a physical form. I find it funny when people argue that God is a man or woman..... Does God have a penis or vagina? Lets go further and think about God's bowel movements, does God pooh? If so, then God must also eat and if so what would happen if God stopped eating, would God die? Where would God go to upon dying?

Can God create a rock that God can't lift? If yes, then God is not all powerful because God can't lift everything but if the answer is no, then God is still not all powerful because God can't create anything......

If these questions keeps you awake at night, you should consider taking a bible and.... beating yourself over the head with it until you pass out.


Blog this sucka! Oh yeah, buyah! I tried using the Yahoo 360 thing and it is pretty terrible..... it is buggy, slow, and confusing to navigate. Blogger rocks!.... oh yeah, now the cool kids are going to like me.