Pedram's stream of consciousness

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

Multiple paths

I think it is really interesting that when a baby is born, it has an unlimited number of different paths it can take. Right now, while you are reading this blog, there is a set of actions and words that could make you a billionaire, janitor, pope, or even Elvis impersonator. That is pretty cool! Think about what would have happened if the Dali Lama had decided, at the age of 5, that he didn't like Tibet and he wanted to move to LA. He could have come to LA and become one of the biggest porn stars on earth.

On that same thread, there are probably a dozen Einsteins mopping floors or chasing zebras but because of the circumstances they find themselves in, they can't harvest this ability and share it with the world. If Bill Gates hadn't made Microsoft what it is today, maybe Kenny Melvison from Oklahoma would have made the equivalent.

If JFK wasn't assassinated, maybe your parents wouldn't have spent that extra 5 minutes reading the paper and their paths would have never crossed. Or maybe they would have met but conceived their child a month earlier or later. His death meant that the particular egg and sperm that you came from could one day collide.

Think about that the next time you decide to cancel a trip, or hit the snooze bar, or get drunk in Mexico and let a guy named Jose tattoo his name on your butt.


  • Does this mean we're going to Mexico?

    By Blogger Raheleh, at 2:51 PM  

  • I don't think any action I take could lead to my becoming Pope.

    I take your main point, however.

    By Blogger Ellen Spertus, at 4:46 PM  

  • That is not true, here is one possible path that could lead you there.

    1 - Convince the Catholic population of the world that Jewish women would make better popes than Catholic men.
    2 - Challenge the current pope to a pope deathmatch
    3 - During the match, throw sand in his face to distract him
    4 - Do the Flaming Dragon head crush move on him
    5 - Declare yourself pope

    Here is another path
    1 - Convert to Catholicism
    2 - Sue the church for sexism for not allowing female Cardinals and popes
    3 - Distribute pictures of the current pope in a hottub with Jessica Simpson to get him kicked out
    4 - Study the Bible like it was a new programming language (which it
    kinda is because once you know the syntax you can program people to do
    whatever you like)
    5 - Rally the people earth to change the Pope election process to only allow people who have won the sexiest geek alive to be elected
    6 - Kill all other sexy geeks and declare yourself pope

    Here is yet another path
    1 - Create a machine that can get you in touch with aliens
    2 - Get them to reprogram the minds of everyone on earth to think that you are pope
    3 - Bask in the bounty of being large and in charge is the leader of a massive religious army

    While the last option has the fewest number of steps, I think it might be the most unrealistic.

    I hope you now see how you could become pope :-)

    By Blogger Pedram Keyani, at 6:46 PM  

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