Pedram's stream of consciousness

Wednesday, January 11, 2006


It seems like I get two good nights of sleep every week. I don't know what the heck is wrong with me but almost every night I wake up between 3 and 6 am and can't go back to sleep. Actually I do start to feel sleepy again around 9am when it is time to get up and start the day. Let me play a couple of common scenarios for you so you can understand the insanity that is my sleeping patterns.

Scenario A - I wake up around 3 am (no matter what time I go to bed) and am half awake and half asleep so I can't actually get up to make use of being awake. Instead I toss and turn for 4-5 hours while I try to convince myself that I need to sleep. (This happens 30% of the time)

Scenario B - I partially wake up and have anxiety dreams about what I need to do to avoid some catastrophe in my life that seems amazingly trivial the next day. There is almost nothing I can do to get out of this F-d up dream state. (This happens 30% of the time)

Scenario C - I am almost fully asleep with the exception that my eyes are open and I keep having the same 30 second anxiety dream over and over and over again. This is by far the worst damn thing that can happen to anyone. Imagine your own personal hell that replays itself over and over hundreds of times and there is absolutely nothing you can do about it. The other night I dreamt that I was in some kind of national crossword puzzle (which I never play) competition and my prize was that the African village I am from gets a full harvest for the year. Apparently in my dream I am some kind of crossword prodigy and from the stage I can see the people of my village huddled together and praying that I win. Here comes the stress, I am in the last phase of my crossword puzzle and have to solve one last row and the fricking answer has to be written in Korean of Klingon or some ish like that. Anyways I start panicking and don't know what to do so I sit there and panic until the time runs out and the man comes by and rips up my puzzle. Totally shattered, I look at my tribe and they all die. Isn't that a horrible, now imagine it over and over again until the sun comes up... The worst part is that every time in the dream I know what is going but I have to sit through it. Arrghghghg..... (This happens about 40% of the time)

I am not sure what to do about my sleeping problems. Rah tells me I need to work out more in the mornings so my body is more tired at night. That might be it and it might not; I think that after so many years of school my body is used to a certain amount of stress and since I don't allow work to stress me out, my body is compensating and adding stress to my life.

Oh yeah, I almost forgot about Scenario D - In this scenario I wake up and write a blog entry about how messed up my sleep has been lately and hope someone takes pity on me :-) (This has only happened once) The flip side to this is that I read through a ton of my work emails this morning and feel 100% up to speed :-)


  • Meditation? Medication?

    I am not a proponent of taking medication, but I hear Ambien is effective at knocking one out.

    By Blogger Emily, at 10:42 AM  

  • > The flip side to this is that I
    > read through a ton of my work emails

    And those put you to sleep?

    By Blogger Ellen Spertus, at 12:50 PM  

  • Arghghghg.... another night and I'm still awake! Oh well, I am getting lots of work done :-) So what if this means my life will be cut short, I guess I am making up for it by being awake longer than other people.

    By Blogger Pedram Keyani, at 3:10 AM  

  • hmmm....can't really write my suggestion to you here. lol!

    By Blogger sanazi, at 2:47 PM  

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